BLAME

A sweet melody played in minor
The bitter aftertaste of the forbidden fruit
A lie that was carefully planted, watered and that flourished
A flower whose beautiful petals concealed the withering leaves underneath
Just like this facade that one put on, believing his real self would never be enough
Insecurities nagging at his mind, vision blurred by tears of realizing the wrong and wronger Then, they come
Crawling up from the depths of his soul
Where he had forgotten them, and they had no chance to flourish then
Because his attention had not been on tearing himself apart over and over and painting every piece with the colour of regret
There they come
Anger, wrath and jealousy
An ugly disease that cannot be cured from the outside
But only from the within
And how should that happen
When they were already so far, consuming his entire self
Whispering, creating this coil of self-hatred
Eyes only fixated on everything that is not right, the withered leaves, but not the petals
Not the love and care that once made the flower bloom
The bond of two brothers seemed so frail again
Like it was never strong
A wound began forming
Like the old one never healed
And all he could think about was
Blame
In the midst of chaos unfolding
Inside and out
All of this
Leads to one action
An action which hasn’t been thought of
Brain incapable of judgement, a blank canvas with the words FAULT and BLAME splattered all over it
But just as the inevitable consequence happens
Vision clears, realization hits him like a lightning strike
Hands cold, shaking after what he had done
But time is unforgiving
In the way it forces you to look at yourself and what you’ve done And they say you can never tie a broken bond
In the way it has been before

Jessica Steininger 6M // May 2021 // Oberstufe // Fiction // Poem